Drowning in Motherhood: The Silent Battle of the Woman Who Does It All

She wakes up before everyone else. Not because she’s well-rested, but because if she doesn’t, everything unravels. The kitchen waits. The crying starts. The routine begins.

And just like that, her identity disappears again.

Not because she hates motherhood. Not because she’s ungrateful. But because no one sees how much of herself she’s had to bury just to keep everyone else breathing.

She is the woman drowning in motherhood.

And no one knows.

She Loves Her Children But She’s Losing Herself

Let’s be clear: this woman adores her children.She would break her body for them. And in many ways, she has.

But love isn’t the issue.

The issue is that her love has demanded her entire being and she hasn’t had time to process what got lost along the way.

She stopped doing her hair. She forgot how to wear perfume. Her old dreams sit dusty in a notebook at the bottom of a drawer she no longer opens.

Every day, she does everything for everyone. But no one does anything for her.

She can’t even finish a hot drink without someone needing her.

Therefore, she starts to question whether her life is just service... or if she even matters beyond the tasks.

The Mental Load She Never Chose

She doesn’t just carry her children. She carries:

• The appointments

• The lunches

• The nap schedules

• The emotional regulation for toddlers and teens

• The invisible tabs of everyone’s needs

• The guilt for wanting more

She remembers the details her husband forgets. She plans for things no one else thinks about. She doesn’t get sick days. She doesn’t clock out.

And yet, the world claps when she "manages it all."

But the real version of her is crumbling inside because she’s functioning for others but failing herself.

What No One Says About “Stay-at-Home”

They say she’s “lucky” to stay home. They say it must be nice. They don’t see that her days are filled with:

• Endless repetition

• No adult conversation

• Constant interruption

• Zero space to think

She gave up the professional version of herself, thinking this season would feel meaningful. But now, she can’t even hear her own thoughts.

And when she dares to complain? She’s met with silence. Or worse, guilt.

Therefore, she becomes quiet. Not out of peace but out of suppression.

She Is Not Ungrateful. She Is Unattended.

Her needs didn’t disappear when she became a mother. They just got ignored. First by others. Then by herself.

She tells herself it’s just a phase. That one day she’ll have time. But months pass. Then years. And she’s still pouring from a cup that never gets refilled.

She shows up on social media smiling, But behind the screen, she’s just trying to remember who she used to be and whether she has permission to become her again.

The Real Cost of Constant Self-Sacrifice

Selflessness is beautiful. But self-neglect is deadly.

She thought dying to herself meant erasing her desires. But slowly, it began to kill her joy. Her drive. Her voice.

Motherhood should sanctify her not erase her. She was never meant to become nothing in the process of raising everything.

But that’s what happens when she’s constantly needed and never nourished.

The Loneliness of the “Strong” One

She’s the woman everyone relies on. Therefore, no one checks in on her.

She plans the birthdays. She remembers the friend’s baby shower. She carries the mental load for her home, her children, and sometimes even her community.

But who carries her?

She doesn’t break down in public. She cries in the shower. She scrolls in silence, comparing herself to women who seem to be “doing it better.” She wonders if something’s wrong with her. Why is she always tired? Why can’t she enjoy this more?

And underneath the exhaustion is one question: “Is this all I was made for?”

So What’s the Way Out?

It’s not a holiday. It’s not a spa day. It’s not a morning off (though those help).

It’s a full rebuild.

Not of the schedule but of the woman.

Here’s what she needs:

1. She Needs Permission to Reclaim Herself

Motherhood is not a sentence. It’s an assignment.

But the woman executing that assignment must still be a whole person.

You’re allowed to:

• Want more and become more

• Have boundaries.

• Say “not right now” to things that drain you.

• Dream, build, and become.

Motherhood doesn’t cancel purpose. It reveals it.

Therefore, stop waiting for someone to validate your worth. Step into it.

2. She Needs Structure That Serves Her, Too

A woman who is “always available” is always exhausted.

Therefore, build routines that serve you not just your family.

Try:

• A protected morning block (before the house wakes)

• One weekly hour of silence

• A hard stop time in the evening

• A reset day every month

• One thing every day that’s just for you

This doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you sustainable.

3. She Needs to Be Surrounded, Not Just Serving

You weren’t made to mother in isolation. You weren’t made to hold everything on your own.

Therefore, find a circle or build one.

• Join a faith-based group of women becoming more

• Start a digital thread with two mums who get it

• Talk honestly with your husband about what you need

• Say yes to the woman who offers help

• Say no to the ones who always take

The version of you that keeps saying “I’m fine” will eventually stop being fine.

4. She Needs to Be Reminded of Her Identity

Before the bottles, the mess, the tantrums, You were a woman. With a name. With a purpose.

Motherhood is part of your calling, But it is not your only crown.

Therefore, speak life over yourself:

• I am not just a mother. I am a leader.

• I am not just surviving. I am becoming.

• I don’t need the world’s pace, I need God's presence.

5. She Needs to Know She’s Not Behind

This season might feel like slow motion. It might look like nothing’s moving. But seeds grow in silence.

You are becoming more even when it doesn’t look like it.

Therefore, stop measuring your worth by your productivity. Start measuring your power by your presence.

You are not behind. You are being built.

Be The Woman Who Rises Anyway

She is tired. But she’s not done. She cries but still creates. She forgets but still shows up.

She doubts herself but still mothers with love.

And day by day, With small habits, bold decisions, and sacred pauses She rebuilds herself.

Not for applause. Not to prove anything. But because she was never meant to stay buried.

The woman who’s been drowning is learning how to breathe again.

There’s nothing wrong with serving your family, it’s a powerful calling.

But as women, we must also grow in the process.

It’s what we neglect that creates the pressure.

Become more in your faith, purpose, mindset, beauty, health, and finances

and you won’t feel like you’re drowning,

because you’re also investing in yourself.

Now, when you pour into others, you won’t be running on empty because you’re full.

Sacrifice only feels unbearable when we’re not fulfilled.

Start becoming more. For you

Sign up to Anave Magazine

Follow us @anavemagazine